Of spies, students and universities

The newly announced spy in the House of Commons is most certainly not alone, she is joined by some 1,000 other pass-holders, who are not British citizens, who also are free to roam the halls of our "sovereign parliament" (I hate when they say that, because anyone who ever does instantly displays that he is an academic cock). British security at its finest would you not know.

Now our little spy studied at the 'University of Bradford' that bastion of academic starlight founded in our year of the lord 1966. I happen to know a fair bit about that university, not because I have studied there (roll on academic arrogance and elitism), no because one of my friends has. My friend is very bright. So bright in fact that he got royally ticked of with Bradford and applied to our current university because, lo and behold, Bradford was shit. As it turns out his equivalent course at our university covered the same and more material than they do in one year at Bradford, in three months in London.

Dare I say it? If we introduced a more rigorous academic framework would we be able to weed out all the phonies who seek only to abuse the system? Perhaps that is to autocratic for the liberal-left and socialist-workers-party-supporting people? Nay, I strongly maintain that university is but for the brightest and that only a small proportion of the population should be able to go, as to help the rest of the people who were not served with brilliance at birth. Granted, this would probably result in my not being able to go either (I am most certainly not clever), but that is a small price to pay for a functional and proper higher education system, which incorporates governance of people actually coming here to study under the right premises. This would thus exclude potential russian spies, it would exclude the bogus students from all over the world who come to the UK to study english, it would include the brightest foreign students who should be encouraged to come here and study and funded to that end as well.

Think how productive a craftsman really can be, some of them manage to turn out absolute works of art be it chimneys or glassworks. Think instead how productive a craftsman with a real degree could be - call him an entrepreneur if you will, his economic prowess would be relatively endless seen from the Treasury compared to the current lock, stock and barrel, who are apparently going to drag us all out of recession with their brilliance.

Certainly, one might ask, what cannot 30,000 media-studies graduates do?

There are now roughly 2 million British students at UK universities, and some 0.5 million foreign students including EU students. This is why there is no money left to fund the whole damn higher education system; there are too many fucking students and most of them are not doing anything remotely productive.

Why do we always do it? Why do we always fiddle with the system? We KNOW what the successful system is, we used to have it here before we gave a few dozen politicians the chance to play God with our kids futures. Remember the following:

• Posh Independent
• Grammar
• Comprehensive

• Technical College
• Polytechnic
• University

Put bluntly, the brightest kids went to Eton, smart kids went to Grammar and the mongs went to the Comp.

Brainboxes went to University, technically good kids went to tech and normal kids went to Poly. It worked.

Industry and commerce knew exactly where to find the people it needed and we flourished (and if you think that just because the government has decided that everyone should go to university that means the same for industry, you are utterly wrong. Basically it works like this now; some companies recruit people solely from the G5* universities and some exclusively from the Russell Group - they are blissfully aware that most other universities produce shit graduates because you cannot artificially make the population clever). We made things. Ships, cars, aircraft. We produced scientists, engineers, creatives and entrepreneurs. The rebels could study art and many of them did exceptionally well at it. We ruled the world in fashion, music, photography, film making and art.

IT WORKED.

The Germans have an excellent education system because Politicians can't get their hands on it. It is based on three types of school.

• The Gymnasium is designed to prepare pupils for university education and finishes with the final examination, Abitur, after grade 12 or 13.
• The Realschule has a broader range of emphasis for intermediate pupils and finishes with the final examination, Mittlere Reife, after grade 10
• The Hauptschule prepares pupils for vocational education and finishes with the final examination, Hauptschulabschluss, after grade 9 or 10

See that? And what does Germany produce? Cars, ships, power stations, railways, aircraft, infrastructure. No fucking about in Germany. If you're thick, no WAY are you going to University to study to become a Nail Technician. You'll do an apprenticeship at 17 that will pay pretty much bugger all and then you'll get a job that will keep you and your family fed for life. We used to do the same here until the Socialists decided that was not the way to a progressive future.

And all because Germany has the courage to say to it's citizens

You're smart, you're average and you're thick. Don't worry, we have something for all of you.

And most of all, they keep their education system away from the clutches of Politicians. Their kids are far too important for a few dozen idiots to ruin. It's time we learned to be honest with our population again. We OWE it to them.

Whilst we import German cars, kitchens and machines because they are so fucking excellent, I can see no better argument for a return to sanity in our education system. Who knows, in 30 years, the Germans might be buying our cars whilst they push bits of imaginary paper around a banking system for a living.

* The G5 group of universities consist of: University of Cambridge, University of Oxford, LSE, UCL and Imperial College.